2014 Mercedes-Benz E63 AMG - 0-100kph in 3.6 seconds. Not a typo, enough said.

Even the colors perfect, 2014 Mercedes-Benz E63 AMG

What you see above, Internet, is quite possibly THE perfect car for any day, any conditions, and any opponent you might decide to put against it. It is the mighty new Mercedes-Benz E63 AMG. And it is incredible to say the least.

It’s not an entirely new car, but a facelifted version of the current E63 to bring it its styling in line with the rest of the 2014 E-Class range. But AMG –being crazy and German - thought, hmm maybe we could use this as an opportunity to make the new E63 even more mental than it already is. So they did. And the results, quite frankly are scary. Now I’m going to bombard you with some rather large and small numbers. The 5.5 liter twin turbo V8 produces 410kw – 24kw more than before – and 720nm of torque which is quite a bit, that’s enough to propel this big executive sedan to 100kph in just 4.2 seconds – which is good. But this is just the ‘basic’ model. For the first time in an AMG product (besides the obvious off road AMG’s) you can have the 4-Matic all wheel drive system, which in typical AMG fashion sends most (67%) of its power to the rear wheels in normal conditions, so it’ll still do the obligatory big lairy powerslides and wreck its tires in just a couple of laps, BUT, what it does to the acceleration is truly phenomenal. Despite adding 70kg to the overall weight of the car, the 0-100kph time drops to a mind blowing 3.7 seconds. 

Requisite enormous air intakes. 2014 Mercedes E63 AMG

But wait, there’s more. There’s also a new S-Model variant of the E63 AMG which increases the power, obviously, and when equipped with the magical 4-Matic system it’ll put 430kw and 800nm down to the tarmac and catapult its passengers to 100kph in a Ferrari 458 rivaling 3.6 seconds. That’s right, 3.6 extremely frightening and aurally delicious seconds. If you want the more practical Estate variant the 0-100kph time is unfortunately increased by 0.1 seconds on all variants. So that means you can have an understated, family wagon that’ll worry most super cars. And the coolest thing is that to the uneducated it looks relatively similar to an E250 CDI diesel, well, as long as they don’t notice the big fat wheels, the snarling quad tail pipes and simply enormous front air intakes. But let’s be honest, sitting in their Camry’s cocoon of dreariness listening to Lionel Richie’s Greatest Hits, they probably won’t.

You even get a classy tech fest interior. 2014 E63 AMG

I don’t know about you, but I find the proposition of a family sedan (or wagon) that’s capable of hitting 100kph in 3.6 seconds incredibly exciting, because you can now have Ferrari performance without the poncy image, distasteful cap wearing, and without everyone hating you. Plus as a bonus, you get lots of space, lots of luxury, lots of boot to put things in, and lots of safety assists like Collision Prevention and Attention Assist – whatever that is. The AMG V8 is pretty efficient as well with its 7-Speed AMG dual clutch gearbox helping it sip just 9.8 liters per 100km. With fuel economy like that you could even afford to take your dog for a little joy ride, and let him experience 0-100kph in 3.6 seconds while hanging his head out the passenger window and dribbling down the side of your car – this sight would send Ferrari owners into cardiac arrest. 

However, it’s not all cheerful Spaniels and tyre smoke because there is a problem. It’s not something that bothers me, but it might bother the kind of person who has just forked out over $500k for an SLS Black Series, or if I were the marketing men at Mercedes. You see, the SLS Black series can only do 0-100 in 3.7 seconds, which isn't bad, but the new E63 takes just 3.6 seconds, which is better. But the real problem is the fact that the 4-Matic versions of the E-Class haven’t been engineered for right hand drive markets which is almost weep worthy. So we won’t get the S-Model E63 and hence won’t get a 3.6 second to 100kph monster family sedan here in Australia. 

The ultimate family car? E63 AMG S-Model Estate

We can expect the new E63 to be priced similarly to the current model, and the non 4-Matic, non S-Model, and comparatively slow version of the E63 should land in Australia towards the end of this year. 

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