Those
who know me know they should never eat anything I have cooked or had an input
in the process of cooking, because I am the sort of person who struggles to
cook two minute noodles, poisons myself by eating what I thought were cooked
frankfurts – as it turns out they were pretty much raw, and starts a small
kitchen fire while attempting to cook pasta. Given my Italian background, it is
expected that I am an exceptional cook, and a natural soccer star. However I am
neither of these things. I can’t stand playing or even watching soccer – mostly
because I’m terrible at it, similarly, much like a professional chef, I don’t
like to eat the food I cook, however unlike a professional chef, its because
chances are it will contain traces of my own flesh and probably lead me to an
uncomfortable hospital bed – but at least the food will be half decent. So on
the face of it, I’m not very Italian.
However,
I’ve been to Italy
before, and I’ve met some of my ‘proper’ Italian relatives, and they said I was
definitely an Italian a ‘Bombaci’ in fact, unlike my father who they just
called ‘Skippy the Kangaroo’ and laughed at his miserable attempts to speak
Italian.
Now,
you’re probably reading this and thinking ‘what does this have to do with
cars?’ and I don’t blame you, I’m thinking the same thing. But I assure you, I
will get there, eventually. I suppose that’s another Italian trait, we’re laid
back and like to take our time with things, whether it be work – Italians have
a siesta every afternoon for a few hours, assembling an ice-cream – I once
waited no less than seven minutes for a lady to make me an ice-cream in Italy, Italian
policemen also like to take their time – I’m still waiting on my speeding
ticket from 2 years ago, and of course, Italian car makers really do like to take
there time – told you I’d get there.
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| Ferrari F12 Berlinetta |
Earlier
this week, the most iconic of Italian car makers, Ferrari, launched its
replacement for the 599 GTB super grand tourer – the F12 Berlinetta. Six years after the 599 begun production in
2006, we have the F12, the fastest road going Ferrari ever made. And Ferrari
certainly took their time with this one. And as is the case with most modern
Italian stallions, it’s been worth the wait.
The
F12 Berlinetta is a truly beautiful thing to behold, unlike its FF bread van
sibling, which it shares an engine with. In the FF the 6.3l V12 produces 650hp,
but in the F12 that power has been bumped up to an astonishing 730hp - for all
you car geeks, that’s the same power output as a modern F1 car. Ferrari
engineers coated the FF’s engine in magic dust and that was enough to bump
power up to 730hp, however that becomes a little difficult for the engineers to
explain, and be taken seriously. So rather than using magic, they made many
mechanical changes to the FF’s engine, all of which I don’t really understand. For
example, the harmonics of the inlet valve and exhaust have been tuned, a new
oil scavenge pump for the dry sump has been developed, and many many different
types of injector patterns have been tested. The end result is 730 raging
Italian horse powers, 690nm of torque, 0-100kph is dealt with in just 3.1
seconds, and top speed is 340kph.
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| Ferrari F12 Berlinetta |
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| Ferrari F12 Berlineta's beautiful interior |
However,
this isn’t a Ferrari for just thrashing around a race track or you’re favourite
mountain pass, the F12 has to be comfortable too, and capable of travelling
long distances without turning you’re spine to dust. It has to work as a grand
tourer. And it does, superbly, sure the suspension is stiff, but its not
uncomfortable, the 7-speed double clutch gearbox shifts seamlessly when you
want to relax but also threatens to crack you’re neck and double as a
chiropractor when you turn it up to eleven – how convenient. The steering is seriously
quick, and takes a little to get used to, but it’s very accurate, and so alive
in you’re hands; it really gives you the confidence to drive this thing quickly
rather than making you feel like you might stick a $700k super car into the
next tree if you’re not careful. It really is a friendly beast, unlike its
predecessor which could be a bit, erm, terrifying at the best of times. Around
Ferrari’s Fiorano test track the F12 is seriously fast – the fastest actually,
and great fun, with the power of 730 Italian horses through just the rear
wheels the F12 has been destined to love drifting since it was a fetus, and it’s
so well balanced and easy to manage, you’d have to be a complete spanner to bin
this thing on a track. Really.
The
F12 has a completely different character to its perilous 599 predecessor, it’s
much easier to drive, and the performance is much more usable. The 599 just
wanted to go fast, or kill you, and which ever one happened first was down to
luck; however the F12 wants to be you’re friend, encourage and reward you.
It’ll do long distance cruises without destroying your eardrums and turning you’re
pelvis to dust. But when you’re in the mood, the F12 will fill you’re eardrums
with beautiful V12 music, and provide a slightly strange and erotic fizzing
sensation in you’re pelvic region.
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| Ferrari F12 Berlinetta |
Unlike
the 599, the F12 is more laid back, it wont poison you with raw frankfurts, nor
will it serve you a meal with bits of human flesh in it, it wont even burn down
you’re house while trying to cook pasta. No, it’s a proper Italian, one that
knows how to cook. The F12 will spoil you with a three course dinner every time
you turn the key, and once you’ve scoffed down the last of that delicious spaghetti
and meatballs, its time for dessert.
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