If You Look at Mountain Goats and Think Hmm That'd Handle Nicely Or you Get Annoyed Easily By School Zones You Need A Mazda MX-5

The unmistakeable smell of burnt rubber permeates through the cosy cabin of the little MX-5, broadening the already ridiculous grin I have on my face to an extent where it could probably challenge even Clarkson’s silliest of faces, which makes me look like a complete fool. But who cares, I’m having fun.

Last year, I decided it would be a brilliant idea to go and spend the day racing some go karts on a Le-Mans style race track. And it was. It was just about the most fun I’d ever had driving. But there were a few problems, firstly I had to wear a hair net which made me look like an elderly woman  who was too afraid to get her hair wet, shortly after I had to place a pre prepared (sweated in) racing helmet on my head, which was a bit disgusting. But then I got to race, and it was brilliant. But I had failed to listen to anything the officials said pre race and so I didn’t understand the signals. So I thought I’d just keep racing around the track until I saw everyone else come to a halt, this plan turned out to be slightly more problematic than I initially thought, because after a few laps I had made it to pole position – possibly because I failed to acknowledge the no overtaking sign, opps – so I didn’t know when the race was over. So I just kept racing around until people started shouting at me.

I eventually drove into the pits, and with a massive grin on my face, I dismounted from my dull grey kart, only to find my pants covered in brown mud, which was a bit annoying. The next day, I struggled to get out of bed, and unless I had fallen down several flights of stairs in my sleep, it must’ve been from the go karts. The vibrations through the steering wheel of the kart were so strong that I had wrist pains for more than a week, and my spine had been turned to a dust so fine you could actually use it to make stuff, like, erm, sandcastles? Or what ever people use fine dust for, I’m sure it has some use.

Any way, I’m getting off track. The point of the story is; while go karts are seriously good fun, I don’t think I want to be caught wearing an elderly persons shower cap, nor do I particularly enjoy wearing a helmet with the sweat of an old long haired alcoholic smeared in it. And it’s also incredibly painful, and expensive. However, I think I’ve found a way to get around these issues. And might I say, it’s quite brilliant.

The street I picked my car up from did not look like this.. - Mazda MX-5 NB series

About five minutes ago, I rolled down a typical suburban street – well I say typical, it was a bit of a dump if I’m honest, old Toyotas with trees growing through them were found where tulips or roses might make up a garden bed in a normal front yard– In a 2003 Mazda MX-5. I sort of had some idea of what I was in for. The MX-5 has a reputation for being a drivers car, but all the reading of car reviews and what not couldn’t prepare me for the full experience of an MX-5.

Entering the MX-5 cabin gracefully is a bit of an art in itself, easy with the roof down, but a bit of a strenuous task with the roof up, and being a typical Melbourne winter day – freezing and windy – I decided it would be best to leave the roof up. Once I was in though I felt right at home. The driving position is spot on; the gear lever in the perfect position, as are the pedals, and the steering wheel, despite not being adjustable is in the right position for me. It’s clear the mx-5 was designed around me, the driver. There’s a reasonable amount of space too, I’m over six feet tall, and I actually had to move the seat forwards to reach the pedals properly, and I even had a little bit of head room to spare. The seats are mighty comfortable, and hug you’re body really nicely, and keep you in position while giving the MX-5 a proper caning. Which will probably happen quite a bit.

Mazda MX-5 NB Series

Fire up the little 1.8l engine, and you’d be forgiven for thinking you were in a Mazda van – the engine noise isn’t especially inspiring on start up. After I’d let the car idle and warm up for a while I noticed the fuel gauge was resting on the stopper and the fuel light was glowing bright orange desperately trying to grab my attention. And it did, well, while I was in the driveway at least. 

I took off down the street which I’m sure is the same one they use to film Underbelly and the like, and soon fell into the MX-5’s trance, and forgot completely that this was not my car, and that it had no fuel in it.

Now for some quick facts to put things into perspective. The MX-5 only has 107kw, but weighs 1086kg which is about as much as a relatively large dog weighs, and so the power to weight ratio is quite good - 0-100kph takes around eight seconds. This means the MX-5 goes, handles and steers, like, a more smallish dog with erm bigger dog legs. This is a good thing trust me. If you’ve ever seen a small dog trying to run really fast on polished floor boards you’ll understand. It’s hilarious. The MX-5 scampers. It’s so agile, and reacts to you’re every input, the steering is quite light, but provides relatively good feel, the throttle is very sensitive, the clutch long and well weighted, and the gear change. Oh the glorious short shift gear change, it is an absolute gem.

Through the twisty bits, the MX-5 really shines, it’s so well balanced, the light weight rear drive chassis and relatively low power mean you can actually reach this cars limits without travelling at ridiculous speeds which would normally have Mr. Plod crush you’re car if you were in some twin turbo V8 monster. Turn the MX-5 into a corner and there’s very little body role, the steering will tell you when the front wheels start to push a little, then get on the gas mid corner and the MX-5 just grips and goes. A bit like a mountain goat, apparently they are quite quick animals and everyone knows mountain goats have good, erm, road holding.

Those seats are really comfy - Mazda MX-5 NB interior  

A lot of people are of the opinion that the MX-5 doesn’t have enough power, and so isn’t as much fun as properly powerful sports cars, but I’m not one of these people. You don’t need lots of power to have fun, and the MX-5 has plenty of power for me, there’s enough to quite easily unstick the rears mid corner and hold the slide, it’s actually very easy. The MX-5 is so well balanced, it makes sliding the car so manageable, it’s really impossible to get into trouble in the MX-5. And if you do, well, there are a couple of airbags and abs brakes which work well and give it a respectable four star NCAP rating. Not bad for something the size of a Coke can. But the important thing is it feels fast. In following in one of Newtons laws, because the MX-5 is so low to the ground it feels much faster than it really is which is good in school zones because 40kph feels like 70kph. 

I’ve just taken off from the lights, dropped the clutch beside the typical V8 commodore tyres squeal and the look on the fluffy dice enthusiasts face is priceless. People just don’t expect the MX-5 to be so reckless after a look at its cute little face. At the next set of lights the boofhead in the Commodore drops his window and says “sick skid bro” what ever that means. I think he liked the MX-5.

Then that bloody orange fuel light catches my eye again, I think its time to take the car back. The cabin stinks of burnt rubber; I’ve got a ridiculous grin on my face, the approval from a chav in a commodore and virtually no petrol. I decide it’s probably best I don’t bring the car back in this state so I do a few more laps around the block to air out the cabin while praying to the man upstairs to not let me run out of fuel.

I made it back, but I didn’t want to get out of the car, so in order to convince myself it was time to hand the keys back to their rightful owner I promised myself I would buy an MX-5 as soon as I could afford it, which should be sometime in the coming weeks. In the mean time though, I’ll be at LeMans go karts wearing someone else’s sweaty racing helmet and a shower cap, because that’s just about the only way to experience an MX-5 without actually experiencing an MX-5. Except go karts don’t have  magical manual gearboxes, and so I’m only left with half an MX-5 experience – the handling, and so I miss out on the fantastic MX-5 gearbox and fantastic seats and steering which doesn’t break you’re wrists.

So if you like go karts and fun, but are sick and tired of having you’re wrists and spine turned to dust, and having you’re face covered in some strangers sweat, get yourself an MX-5. See? Told you I had a brilliant idea.