It
was a Friday night like any other, I was making time down at the local watering
hole, when enters a cougar. Cougars can be identified mainly by their
appearance, they display maximum cleavage to captivate their prey, and often
wear something new and fashionable to hide their age, however a simple glance at
their hands will confirm the maturity of you’re predator. Cougars are not a
pack animal and will never roam in more than pairs; they often roam the jungle
alone searching for potential mates. A
general rule of thumb is, if you see them bounce, she’s about to pounce.
Chances
are if you’ve got a pulse, you will have heard of the British boy band One
Direction. However something you might not have heard over all the screaming
fourteen year old girls is band member Harry Styles is a known cougar hunter.
The man (boy?) can probably get who ever he likes, and has so many notches in
his bed post that it’s whittled down to a twig. However Harry clearly has a
thing for the older ladies. When Harry was just 17 years old he dated Caroline
Flack a 32 year old news reporter for some months last year, unfortunately they
broke up after One Direction fans – an evidently insane bunch of people,
threatened to murder the poor woman. This wasn’t a one time deal either because
Harry has an interesting history of conquests involving cougars, some of which
who were even married. As a result Harry has been dubbed the ‘cougar catcher’.
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| Aston Martin Vanquish |
Perhaps
when Aston Martin were conceiving the new Vanquish, Mr. Styles was seen as the
ideal customer for the new car, and so on the outside it would appear a brand
new car, however beneath the botox remains the well matured DBS. The Vanquish is the replacement for the aging
DBS, which in fact has only been on sale for five years, in supercar terms
that’s less time than it takes an average American to put on ten kilos.
I
like to think of the new Vanquish as a bit of a cougar myself, because on the
face of it, it appears to be a DBS with a new, fresher, and up to date body. It’s
the old car in a new and more fashionable dress. Beneath the pretty face, sits the same
VH architecture which sat beneath the DBS, and is still sitting beneath all new
Astons and has done since 2004. However, it’s been thoroughly overhauled, and now combines carbon fibre
and aluminium to produce a hybrid platform. This and one massive strut brace in
the engine bay helps to stop the entire car twisting itself into a braid –
cougars gave up on the hunk of rope hair style long ago, and increases the
structural rigidity of the package by 30 percent over the DBS.
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| Aston Martin Vanquish - mmm yum. |
At
the heart of any big Aston is a V12 engine, and the Vanquish is no exception.
The Vanquish retains the 6.0l naturally aspirated V12 from the DBS, but
receives a new fuel pump, larger throttle bodies, intake manifold, and dual
variable valve timing. These modifications, of course, result in more fire
power at your disposal – 563hp and 620nm of torque to be precise. The Vanquish
should weigh significantly less than the DBS given the new hybrid platform and
new carbon fibre dress its wearing – every body panel is carbon fibre, and
hence the 0-100kph time is expected to fall below the four second mark and top
speed is expected to be in excess of 320kph. Clearly these are not spectacular
figures given the cars the Vanquish will have to compete with, Mercedes SLS,
Bentley Continental and the 730hp Ferrari F12 which will be causing some
serious headaches at the Aston Martin HQ all spring to mind, even the Nissan
GTR could easily undercut the Aston by more than a second in a 0-100kph sprint,
however Aston Martins have never been about the figures, the focus is the
delivery. Nothing else on the road will accelerate you to 100kph in so much
style. And there’s nothing else that can match the charisma of a big V12 Aston,
its just oozing with class, and well, it’s just cool. James Bond drives one for
Pete’s sake.
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| Aston Martin Vanquish Interior. |
Contributing
further to the cougaresque appeal of the Vanquish is the lack of a double clutch gearbox. The
Vanquish will use the same six-speed automated manual as the DBS, however it
has been reprogrammed to reduce shift times by 37 percent. Although with these
changes I doubt the Vanquish can match the Ferrari F12 for gearshift smoothness
or speed.
The new pretty face, and old bones of the Vanquish might make our friend
Harry Styles happy and whether it’s able to please us, the enthusiasts, is yet
to be seen. However, providing there’s no way of spotting that mature hand that
sets a cougar apart from a younger woman and the V12 is bellowing when thumping
the Vanquish up a mountain road, it should be a brilliant car. But one things
for sure, whether you’re an amateur cougar hunter or a highly experienced
cougar catcher, this is the machine you’ll want to walk her out to if you’re
looking to up you’re game. |
| Aston Martin Vanquish - A Truly Beautiful Machine. |
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